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Being a Trap (Question & Answer)


What have you experienced with regard to identifying as a trap around other trans people, imo traps are a somewhat non binary thing, but you can be a girl and a trap at the same time, traps prioritize aesthetic cuteness as self image or whatever.

Anonymous on Curious Cat on November 25, 2017

My answer

I've had a lot of time to explore my gender identity. I agree that identifying as a trap can totally be "a somewhat non binary thing," as I find true for myself (I'll circle back to that later).

Early on I looked at futanari, the 2D stuff of fantasy. Later in my teens I discovered "traps" posting selfies to 4chan trap threads, which were accessible to me, unlike transgender concepts which I digested much later in life. As soon as I saw those selfies I thought "Whoah, you can actually do this IRL, it goes beyond crossdressing?"

Those traps' selfies got a lot of attention, eventually leading to chat rooms I joined to learn more, mostly consisting of chasers, but there were the few worshipped traps leveraging their status by forming a sugar baby relationship with the chasers. Even here trapping and HRT information was inaccessible. However, after befriending some of these sugar babying traps they opened up to me.

Many of them, like me, were trans women not fully self-aware ("eggs"), but regardless we were self-tailoring to the lucrative demand which enabled transition in a scenario where nobody would help, it was a tool of empowerment, for being a trap was a status symbol of desirability and self-sufficiency. People paid a lot of money for safe, light versions of the "girlfriend experience" online (no meeting in person).

So there's this experience of people who treated you poorly and didn't help you empower yourself, crawling back to you once you're able to leverage your prettiness, and there was a lot of solidarity about that among these trap sugar babies. We are part product of that fetishization and now we're using that part to our advantage.

Trans women oftenly received this facet of my identity poorly. I erroneously assumed trans women all possessed a great sense of bodily and expressive autonomy. On the contrary, like most people, trans women told me how I should identify and why I should identify that way. For example, if you are AMAB, taking HRT, and very expressively feminine you will likely meet much animosity, some trans women feel hurt by this expression. I've been banned from several spaces, generally treated poorly, ostracized.

While "trap" is an identity orthogonal to others, it exists as a separate subculture and identity apart from trans womens' for many reasons, e.g., early gender exploration influences, rejection of centralized narratives (colloquially: "the discourse"), deweaponization of a subculture they were submerged in (e.g., 4chan), simply identifying as male while wanting or needing to "pass" as cis woman.

I am a woman, who is trans, but being a trap is a defining part of my experience, which I've deweaponized for myself into something positive I can share and bond through. This too is my attitude when I call myself male, falling back in suit with the general trap sugar baby attitude, "So what? Who fucking cares what my gender is. My gender isn't based on your sexuality; honestly you're gay for me either way."